The Good DM: Hoax, Myth, Legend

This is a lampoon against the fictional character of the Good DM.

The Good DM. Man, do I hate that guy.

No matter who you are, no matter if you’re new to running a game or a seasoned hand with published adventures under your belt, once you are measured by the standard of the Good DM, you’ll be found wanting.

The Good DM is ready for everything. He never forgets a rule, he maintains an encyclopaedic knowledge of all the PC spells and abilities, and he can instantly adjudicate confusion about the rules with a perfect ruling that everyone accepts without question. And by the rules of logic, this therefore extends to the rest of the Good DM’s table; never do the Good DM’s players complain about how their own failure to read their spells or understand the rules has led to an undesirable result.

“The Ultimate Wizard of Oz…”

The Good DM is a master worldbuilder, too. He’s already worked out the local politics of every region the party wanders into on a lark—not that the party will wander anywhere, and certainly not on a lark, because the Good DM will carefully entice them, giving them the freedom to choose but ultimately guiding them inexorably to the next important clue in the story. He has mastered being totally in control, but letting his players be in control. His is the Schrödinger’s cat of player-driven games, and he the ultimate Wizard of Oz.

The Good DM has also sprinkled bits of everyone’s backstory into everything, no matter how farfetched the 38-page background packages his players gave him ultimate became. The backstories were long because the Good DM always gives carte blanche for the players to make anything they want. And if your breath catches at the thought of a noble, lawful good paladin being stuck in a party with a chaotic evil cambion necromancer, don’t sweat it. He’s the Good DM; he can make any party composition work seamlessly in any environment, and let everyone feel as though they’re contributing. Champions of opposing gods will have story reasons to collaborate, and combat will always allow everyone to shine, whether they’re an unoptimized halfling barbarian/wizard or a min-maxed vampire samurai with laser guns for eyes.

Yeah, $@#% that guy

The Good DM has done more damage to the self-esteem of many talented and creative DMs than anyone else in their lives. Every DM knows that if they ever stumble, if the party ever has a string of bad rolls, if anything ever doesn’t go perfectly, then they are not the Good DM. Why can’t they just get it?

That confusion about whether innate spellcasting can be counterspelled… the Good DM would never have had to check that it can’t. Forgetting that the Berserker barbarian can’t be frightened while raging and so he shouldn’t have had to roll against the dragon’s Fearsome Presence? The Good DM would have remembered that without having to be reminded. The name of this random NPC’s mother-in-law? The Good DM knows it and has a some ways she can tie the characters into the story from which they’re running the risk of getting sidetracked.

Not even Matthew #$@%ing Mercer can measure up to the Good DM.

“Professional-level talent…”

Speaking of Matthew Mercer… wow, did we all seriously underestimate the Good DM’s showmanship before Critical Role came along. It was like 2015 came along and suddenly the Good DM let loose the full force of his charisma and professional-level talent. It’s funny, actually, it didn’t used to seem that every NPC, no matter how insignificant, having its own distinct voice, speech pattern, and physical manifestation back in the Halcyon days before Twitch. Back then, the style of the Good DM seemed less well defined, rather than a gestalt of the top entertainers in the industry.

Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be the Good DM to desire to improve yourself and how you run a game. But nor do you have to watch hours and hours of D&D streams a week to grow, let alone run a fun and exciting game for your players. By all means, delve in if you have the time and desire; there are lots of great streams, podcasts, and websites that can help you improve. But at the end of the day, you’ll never be the Good DM, so don’t bother pretending.

Or you can forget about the Good DM and recognize that you aren’t an imposter for not being perfect. Perfection is not and never has been a prerequisite for being a Dungeon Master. If you want to be the DM, you have just as much right to sit at the table as anyone else.

So get out there and roll some dice.

Feature Image Credit: Joré Escalera (Artstation)

For the sake of clarity, I very much admire Matthew Mercer as a person and a Dungeon Master. This feature image was not chosen to target him, but rather to give a visual conceptualization of what the ‘Good DM’ might look like; some otherworldly, magical entity who is so far removed from reality that you can’t hope to compare to him. Not even Matthew Mercer could compare with with the ‘Good DM’.


Taylor “Ipsimus Arcanus” Reisdorf is the self-styled archmage at Dungeon Master’s Workshop, with weekly publications right here every week. You can also find him on Twitter and Facebook.

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