THE DEAD MERE—Tensions are on the rise today as the party’s wizard, Priam, has once again called the party to a halt so that he can mend his travelling attire—an elaborate outfit consisting of long robes, a stylized mantle, and many other adornments of dubious function in the course of an adventure.
“He looks like he’s wearing somebody’s curtains”, grumbled Kelson, the party’s front-line defender, before adopting a foppish voice and continuing, “Oh, don’t you just love my outfit? I saw it in the window and I just had to have it!” He then proceeded to pantomime several arcane gestures in a deliberately suggestive manner.
Scrubbing muck off his cuirass nearby, the eldritch knight Ander said, “I studied at the academy for a while myself, and nobody wore that get-up outside the lecture hall. Every mage I’ve ever travelled with outside town has worn trousers and a tunic, like a normal person. I don’t know what Priam’s trying to prove with his get-up other than how you can be the smartest person in the room and still be ten arrows short of a quiver.”
“I have robes, as well”, remarked Sandor, the party’s cleric, adding “They’re back in my quarters at the grand temple, where I deliberately left them when we determined we would be trudging through a swamp. They’re ceremonial garments, not travelling attire. I appreciate that Priam has never learned to move properly in armour, but even a leather coat might turn away a blade, or at the very least be easier to clean.”
“I have to wear robes!” Priam protested when challenged on his choice of garments. “How else will literally every monster with two brain cells know to target me first? It’s just common sense!”
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