Party Feigns Astonishment At Death of NPC With Sean Bean’s Voice

THE SALT MARSH—Members of the Worshipful Company of Tomb Raiders struggled to appear surprised and saddened by the death of an NPC whose voice was clearly based on that of a famous actor who dies in every single role.

Garen the Bold, a long-time champion of justice and hero of the realm, met his death at the hands of the party’s nemesis in a heroic scene for which everyone had been emotionally preparing since the knight first opened his mouth.

“Oh, no”, came the well-intended but unconvincing response of the druid, Holly.

“I… did not… see that coming”, added the fighter, Kelson, adding, “What a shame”.

As their nemesis made his exit on the back of a dragon, the party gathered around and struggled to come up with words that weren’t drawn from any of the 25 films where Sean Bean died.

The party still hasn’t realized that they’ve lost three allies who all shared the voice of John Hurt, the actual record holder for on-screen deaths.

Feature Image Credit: “Life Giver” by Larry Elmore © Wizards of the Coast

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